Well, It's been awhile since I've written, but I felt like I needed to start writing again. I'll catch up on the basics, and then tomorrow I can write what's been on my heart. Elizabeth Brooke was born October 6, 2010 (can't believe she will be 1 soon!) As you can tell with the lack of posts, I have been busy adjusting to 2 children. Wow--most of the time I feel like I can't think straight, because I'm tending to one or the other of the girls, so I feel like I say things I might ordinarily have a filter for :) So, sorry if I've offended anyone or said anything weird the past year or two (while I had pregnancy brain). Hopefully now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I will think better. The first 2 months of Elizabeth's life, she screamed all night unless she was being held. This meant both grandmothers sharing shifts with me so that I could sleep in bed some hours and hold E in the morning hours while they slept in bed to be ready for caring for Anna. Then we moved through the terrible two's, learning how to deal with tantrums and screaming from a 2-year-old, and then on to potty training, and now that Anna is 3 months shy of turning 3, she is successfully potty trained and in the last couple of weeks has shown some maturity. Needless to say, my sweet child is back (most of the time :) Now that Anna is more manageable, Elizabeth has started the phase of tearing up the house and getting into things. sigh. I know this will all pass quickly, but these are tiring times :) Although, I am so excited to watch them grow together, and I constantly daydream about how the girls will play together in the future. We pray that they will be close friends.
God continues to bring women into my life who have suffered miscarriages, stillbirths, or early infant losses. I know He has given me a sensitive heart for all of you out there, because He loves you. Many women have already gotten pregnant again, so that is exciting! If any of you out there are reading this and have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss, I would love to hear about something that really encouraged you during this time--either a verse someone shared, a song, a book, poem, picture, etc. that either someone said to you or you discovered on your own and it comforted you. I always like to know these things so I can pass them along to other women. Please leave it as a comment for all to read (but if you're not comfortable, feel free to e-mail).
Some of you who are new to my blog and read it from the beginning may think some things sound pretty crazy (about me believing that God was telling me we'd have twins) Obviously, we do not have twins yet--although I think God was faithful to "bless us double for our woes" by sending us 2 precious girls after Grace. I still have my heart open to the fact that God could still give us boy twins in the future, and I also understand that we can believe God for miracles that sometimes don't work out like we think He is saying. Others of you might be thinking "what in the world does she mean "God is saying." What kind of a person "hears God?" Well, it's simple. Everyday people like me, like YOU. Why else did God choose to announce Jesus' birth to the shepherds in the fields?
If you seriously want to know that God is there, just say a prayer aloud or in your head--"God, are you there?" and He will respond. It might be through picking up your Bible and reading it (and these days this could be on an iPhone :), or it might be a song or something a person says to you, but you will know that God hears you. And I pray that you feel His love for you. God is real, and He cares about the details of your life. I can tell you this from my experience along with many others who have been suffering around me and yet in the midst of their suffering, they can tell you without a doubt, they feel that God is real, and that He loves them based on how they sense Him so personally. Some of you might feel a little angry that you don't feel like God has been there for you. I promise you, that He loves you enough that He has burdened someone's heart for you--and this person hurts for you, whatever you are going through. (I know this from experience). Ask a Christian friend or ask me if you have questions about all of this--don't be shy!
Check back soon for more posts about what all has been spinning around in my head :) And don't forget to let me know of something that has encouraged you through miscarriage/infant loss, etc.
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