Back in June, we were on our way to Northwest Arkansas for a family reunion. We received a phone call that began to be the turning point of our lives. Scott had been working many hours doing his clinic job and fulfilling his extra inpatient hospital duties unique to this job. Not only was he away from home a lot on weekdays and weekends, but the call phone was ringing all throughout the evening and night, especially during times when I needed help with the girls--dinnertime, or putting them to bed. We had hopes this would change as a partnership with a well-known childrens hospital was in the works. This would be great for our family as well as the nurses, restaurants, gas stations, etc. in Waco, because it would make this hospital potentially the premiere pediatric center between DFW and Austin. The phone call informed us that the partnership had been turned down, and they were basically believing a different children's hospital would come through. This partnership would potentially happen, but the first offer was ready to go, and for various reasons we could not wait years for the second hospital to develop and implement their plan, especially since there was no guarantee about what they would do.
This was the first clue that we could not stay in this job forever. After hopes of trying to get help with the call demands or inpatient demands were denied, the heartbreak started to set it. Their clinic is awesome, but we felt they weren't getting the respect or consideration even to the level of the other clinics. Our hands were tied with what was the perception of the clinic and work hours, and the reality that they were working a clinic job and an inpatient job. Let's just say, you can manipulate data and downplay "oh it's only 7 calls" to justify not solving the problem. It was difficult to be told to see more patients to cover new rent, and then in the next conversation be told to block off schedules (meaning don't schedule patients during those times) to deal with having to go back and forth to the hospital after deliveries that needed to be transferred.
Now what? I was in a lot of turmoil, because I didn't want to move, but we could not figure out any other way to make things work. I was constantly feeling uneasy, because it was hard to grasp if we were here long-term or if we were to go. I told Scott, "I almost want to ask God for a sign so that we at least would know whether we were staying or going." If we are staying, we know to try to make it work at all costs. If we are to go, we can begin that process of changing our plans to be here forever and then figure out where we were to go. I felt a bit selfish to ask God for a sign if He wasn't ready to reveal that to us just so I could relax my mind from all of the muddled thoughts in my head about it all. But then how else do I know what to do? We talked it over, and Scott wondered if asking God for a sign was like putting Him to the test. I literally opened the Bible to see if we would get any direction, and the page it fell open to was in Isaiah. Isaiah 7:10-14 "Again the Lord spoke to Ahaz, ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights. But Ahaz said, 'I will not ask; I will not put the Lord to the test.' Then Isaiah said, 'Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign" We both looked at each other in shock and said, "it's pretty clear we are supposed to ask for a sign, and it would almost be like we were disobeying to not ask." So we prayed and asked God to show us a sign and that we would be open to seeing it. This is the part of the story where it is just starting to get exciting. I can't wait to tell you more, so stick with me now that the boring details are out of the way!
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