Women's Rights

I believe in women's rights.  I believe a woman shouldn't be told when to get pregnant, when to have a baby, whether she should be sexually active or not, what kind of birth control to use, be expected to care for a baby if she cannot afford it or simply doesn't want to or does not have the support.  I do have my own thoughts and convictions on these things, but I do agree that a person cannot tell another person what she can and can't do with her body.  She must make her own choices and learn and grow from them, no matter which side of the fence you are on.  I am thankful for a woman like Wendy Davis (Texas Senator) who is bold enough and committed enough to stand up for what she believes in--we often lack this in our country.  The part I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around is when did women's rights become synonymous to the ability to stop a heartbeat?  Why is it that women and men who are Pro-Life are not considered supporting Women's Rights?  I understand the belief in the freedom of the woman to choose, but are we really talking about what a woman can and can't do with her body, or are we talking something more basic--the right to stop a heartbeat?  It just so happens that a woman's body provides the place where a heartbeat begins, undeniably where we ALL began.  We can restart a heart that has been beating before, but I do not know any human who can create a beating heart.  Before you read further, can we agree that even if you believe that a fetus is just tissue, what separates it from a pregnancy and a terminated pregnancy is the lack of a heartbeat caused by someone doing something to stop the heartbeat? I remember early with our first pregnancy we could see the 2 fetal poles beating and hear the unmistakable sound of a heartbeat at just 6 weeks! I understand people say we can't legislate morality, but we are talking about something deeper than a particular religious belief.   We do have the power to stop a beating heart, but should we? 
And amazingly, a woman's body can even recognize when the fetus is not viable--often people have been pregnant before they even know it, and they miscarry in a late period or as you know, with miscarriages and stillbirths--its own natural selection.  Our bodies can distinguish when the fetus has died and hormone levels start going down as the body prepares to miscarry.  I find this amazing!  Ever since I heard about the legislation in Texas, and people fighting for women's rights, I have been desperately trying to make sense of this concept that larger access to abortions equals a positive step for women's rights.

This issue is dear to my heart.  Maybe it's my own experience or having children of my own that makes me more sensitive.  During our first pregnancy, we went in for her 22 week ultrasound, fully expecting to see her heart beating and her arms and legs moving around on the screen. Suddenly, right before our eyes, the realization hit that she had died in my womb. I would have given anything to have a beating heart--even if she weren't going to survive.  There was NOTHING I could do.  I watched her at 18 weeks, just four weeks before, kicking and waving her arms--she was very much alive and very much a baby.  Now the difference was that her heart had stopped, and she was lifeless.  (If you want to read more about what happened, go here and here) How can we say that it's okay to stop a living being from "breathing," (yes, babies inhale and exhale amniotic fluid) and if you held that form, you would see its heart beating out of its chest.  The difference--my pregnancy was wanted.  So the issue at hand is that if a woman doesn't want a pregnancy or has an "unintended pregnancy," she has the right to choose an abortion. But does she or any physician or technician truly have the right to end a heartbeat? Anyone who has lost a loved one, would give anything to have that beating heart, for that person to have life! Why is it different for a baby in utero, even if it is an unwanted pregnancy?
The bill in Texas aims to ban abortions past 20 weeks.  I have held a baby at 23 weeks.  I know what they look like at this age.  I cannot imagine treating this body as anything but a baby.  I know some might argue that this is my opinion, but the baby I held and other pictures I have seen were perfectly formed, a miracle of life even in death.  She even had her own unique face, with characteristics of her daddy.  Because of modern neonatal science, a baby has a chance a living a normal life if born outside the womb at 24 weeks!  If you want to see real pictures of what a 19 week old baby looks like, you can read a precious story of a baby born too early just 2 weeks ago.  She posted the pics as a way to honor him.  If you have never seen a baby this early, their skin is still translucent, so they appear with a reddish, purple color.  But you can see clearly that his body is perfect. http://f2photographybylexi.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/walter-joshua-fretz/#comments

Obviously, there are all kinds of factors that contribute to why a pregnancy is unwanted--I don't deny this.  But the women who choose to carry the baby and give it up for adoption--they are true heroes, basically surrogate mothers, if you will.  A beautiful example is a mom who was unable to get pregnant.  Recently a birth mom, late in her pregnancy started feeling overwhelmed, because she had 2 other children at home and financially they weren't sure if they could make it.  Yes, it was emotional for her to give up her baby, but the joy she provided the other family and the life that our world will get to experience knowing is undeniably more positive than the thought of that birth mom choosing abortion and the baby ending up in the trash.  (just stating facts not casting blame).  Yes, I can say that, because my baby ended up in the trash, and even though she had died before I had the D&E, I went through a lot of regret realizing that she had ended up in the trash. 
While we are on the topic of my D&E (an abortion past the first trimester), some have had concerns over the strict stipulations the bill in Texas has regarding requiring that the physician performing the abortion have privileges at a hospital within a 30 mile radius.  Bleeding is a HUGE complication of this type of procedure.  Maybe it is rare, but when it happens, it is life-threatening.  There is not the same concern with colonoscopies or other outpatient procedures.  My D&E happened at a hospital, and I am so grateful, because I ended up losing 1800mL of blood.  They had already ordered the bags to do the transfusion.  What would have happened if I had been in a rural outpatient clinic more than 30 miles from a hospital?  I realize some argue that this might limit abortions for rural patients, but many ERs see botched abortions or even complications from good doctors performing the abortion (read link below of former abortion doctors).  Please try to see this as a way to protect women's health!
Another myth is that a late-term abortion is necessary for women whose life is in danger.  If a woman's blood pressure is so high it is about to kill her, there would not be 24-72 hours needed to properly dilate for the D&E abortion.  An emergency C-section would be performed to "terminate" the pregnancy to protect the mother's health.  If you want to read more regarding later term abortions from an OB who did them and his testimony to congress,  click here
http://www.lifenews.com/2013/05/23/doctor-who-did-1200-abortions-tells-congress-to-ban-them/

The last piece that has been buzzing around in my head that I just can't silence is the collection of good doctors who began performing abortions for all the right reasons--they wanted to help women or they had seen so many botched abortions they wanted to provide a better service.  Why did they get out of it?  Somehow when they crossed a line either having their own children or contemplating whether a fetus is a living being, they changed their minds and walked away from the practice.  I find this fascinating!  You can read their stories here and make your own conclusions.  http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortiondoctors.cfm
Beyond doctors who did abortions changing their minds, what about Norma McCorvey, the "Jane Doe" in Roe v. Wade?  After working in the abortion industry, she now has become pro-life.  You can read her book Won By Love  What is it that is so powerfully changing people's minds who were once pro-abortion (not just pro-choice)?  The person who was the focus of the case to legalize abortions now is pro life?  Here is a quote about her book (author unknown)
"Working inside the abortion industry, Norma saw how abortion degraded women; she was surprised at the exorbitant dollars that kept rolling into the doctors' pockets; she saw the blatant exploitation as abortion advocates put political rhetoric above safe medicine; and she eventually began to question the movement for which she once said she "lived and breathed."'  I know not every abortion clinic is like this, but after hearing recently about Dr. Gosnell's clinic and others being exposed, I do believe we have some responsibility to protect women and it is okay to have stricter regulations governing abortion clinics to ensure sanitation and health. 
In my line of work with women who have had miscarriages and stillbirths, I have come across several ladies who had abortions in the past. They still grieve the loss of that baby nearly the same way a mother grieves a miscarriage. I know each woman is different, but I am just speaking from my own personal experiences. Watching videos from the ladies affected by the Gosnell clinic--so many regret what happened later. I especially feel for the ones who felt like once they were in the clinic they were forced to have the abortion against their will--I cannot imagine the pain and regret as one of them testifies she cannot have any more children as a result of the abortion he performed on her.
Part of women's rights is for women who maybe have been down that road coming alongside other women and helping them weigh out how they might feel in the future! Additionally, who is speaking out for those women and girls who are being forced into abortion either by a parent or boyfriend, etc? They have a right to be protected, too! Read their stories here; it makes my heart hurt! http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/pushedintoabortion.cfmhttp://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm?start=35
I am not here to argue about whether the "tissue" or fetus is a living being.  I do think abortions past the first trimester are inconceivable, knowing how undeniably full of life these fetuses are.
If in fact it is just "tissue," the final piece I have had going through my brain--why do so many states have regulations about where the human tissue goes?  The tissue or body parts usually have to be unrecognizable as human tissue before it can go to a landfill.  This means most of it is incinerated.  Some states have it sent to other states.  If you want to read more about what happens to the remains, you can read here.  Again, if it is all trash, there is a distincition that it is HUMAN tissue and has to be dealt with differently than other waste.  This bothers me.  Maybe I don't like to think about it, but the smoke is there.
Even though we don't personally know these aborted babies, these tissues and parts are often someone's BROTHER!  or SISTER!  sometimes twin BROTHER or SISTER who didn't survive but the other twin did.  Here are some excerpts that teenagers have written about their own family members they found out were aborted.
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionsurvivors.cfm  You can watch the film October Baby to also understand this side of being an abortion survivor.

I am not naive enough to skip over the fact that there are women who are happy with their choices to abort.  I personally have not heard these stories yet.  I have only heard stories of women filled with sadness and regret, and not because of shame.  They miss the life that they would have had!  My heart hurts for them.  My heart goes out to the girls/women who get pregnant and the tough decisions they face.  Abortion is a big decision, and it's permanent.  I hope we can surround all of these girls/women with the support they need, and I know there are many who are doing their part.
According to Guttmacher Institute (a research institute by Planned Parenthood) "There were roughly 1.2 million abortions performed in 2008 [in the US], and the abortion rate was 20 per 1,000 women aged 15–44."  If you do the math, that comes to 3297 abortions per day.  Today.  These babies being aborted right now are my daughter's classmates, and potentially our kids' friends.  It's hard to imagine, because we don't feel a loss never having known them.  But when I think of those today that almost were aborted but are here, it resonates with me.  Perhaps my favorite personal story--a friend of mine could not get pregnant except by scientific means. They decided to adopt. A birth mom chose them, and the interesting thing about her story is that the baby had nearly been aborted 2 times. The birth mom tried to get an abortion in one state, but the baby measured just days beyond the legal age for an abortion so the clinic turned her away. She traveled to another state in which the abortion was legal at a later term. Again, the birth mom was within the range to have the abortion, but because the baby measured larger, she was denied the abortion in that state. When I saw the picture of Joy (name changed) just minutes after she was born, it literally looked like she was smiling and saying "I'm alive!" As I've watched her grow up, her history haunts me that she came so close to not being here. 
Pro-Choice.  I agree--a woman has a right to treat her body any way--that is America.  But is there a better way if it is an unintended or unwanted pregnancy?  Once a woman decides she has an unintended or unwanted pregnancy, she does have 3 choices: abortion, adoption, or keep the baby. Of those 3 choices, and in this legislative debate, women's rights has been equated with Pro-Choice. Why is Pro-Choice considered the opposite of Pro-Life?  Maybe that's the answer--we all understand what the choice really is about.  Pro-Choice offers 3 choices.  Pro-Life offers 2 choices.  I'm not saying that in an accusatory or judgemental way--but taken down to its barest principle, the choice really is about continuing a life or not.  Decide for yourself between abortion, adoption or keeping the baby.