May 30, 2008 Exciting News. . .

From my journal. . .

"Lord, I don't know how to thank You. Today, just like in the story of Lazarus, God allowed him to die so that Jesus could reveal His glory. I was so nervous today but at the same time had a lot of peace. Right before the exam she said she had completed the paperwork for the D&C but we'd do the ultrasound first. She flippantly said 'miracles do happen.' (and I was thinking--'oh Lord, let it be this time'). Then she started the ultrasound and at first it looked empty--she then turned the screen to me and said 'I don't know if you want to see'--of course I was very excited to see--then she continued the ultrasound and said 'my God' and turned the sound on so we could hear the heartbeat. Scott said 'there's a baby in there.' She said everything looked perfect--the baby, the yolk sac (which is only perfectly round in a healthy pregnancy). As she was getting the measurements I told her of God's promise that I would be pregnant in April and that people all over the world had been praying for this baby. (the best I could explain it). She said she couldn't medically explain it any other way but that it was a miracle. She also said that with the hormone levels the only other explanation would be twins (but we could only see one baby and no evidence of twins). Scott and I were looking for two and afterwards we both said that we thought we'd seen 2 heartbeats simultaneously. I'm so humbled by the whole thing. Why me? Is it just because I asked God to speak to me and I believed? The people in the Bible have taught me so much.
It was a beautiful sight on that screen--it was a perfect looking baby--not just a fuzzy blob--with its heart beating strong in its chest as if to say "I'm alive and I'm in here!" [To think we were just days away from taking its life (or if I had taken the pill at the beginning) makes me encourage any woman with this diagnosis to wait it out until you start actually bleeding (unless you are at a risk for an infection). Even though it is emotionally draining--wait it out.]
I praise Him for so many reasons. Lord, that was an awesome sight today.
I felt like it came to me the other day that I had come full circle-just like the Israelites when they finally went into the Promised Land.
God is faithful."