The first couple of days after the positive pregnancy test I had no fear or doubts, because I was in such awe about how God had fulfilled His promise. I wasn't concerned at all about a miscarriage, because I believed if God had promised this baby/babies, there was nothing to worry about. Then, this day it seemed like I was under attack, and literally every 5 minutes I was having these thoughts pop in my head "you don't know this baby is going to live" and things like that-I had to constantly refute them that if God was going to take the time to reveal that I would be pregnant at this time, that it wasn't going to die
From my journal. . .
"Oh Lord, You have done this marvelous work, but Satan wants to mess with my mind. Some hours it is such a fight to not be concerned about this pregnancy, and I constantly have to remind myself that God promised this baby (these babies). Lord, clothe my mind in Your truth. Protect these babies from harm.
Lord help me to not be like the Israelites who only finally believed your promises after they had crossed the Red Sea. Help me to continue to trust now--from now until the next 34 weeks. It is truly an amazing gift you have given us. Help me not to wonder if this is Your will for me to carry these babies full-term. Help me to always trust that these babies are the twins You've promised. I don't know why it's so hard to trust now that the promise is fulfilled."
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