Friday, October 11, 2013

Team Hurst

I have been silent for awhile, but that does not mean a lack of emotion or empathy for people all around me who are struggling and suffering.  Yes, there are joys amidst the pain, but it makes Heaven seem so much sweeter and almost impossible to imagine without heartache or struggles!!!  This post is turning out to be more for me to process my thoughts than for you, so bear with me, and hopefully it will be worth your time.
This picture was taken in October of 2010.  It's the only photo I have with Dana Hurst (with the black and white necklace), and it happens to be the night we met at a Medical Alliance function in Waco.  I had just given birth to Elizabeth a couple of weeks before (which is why I look half asleep :)  Dana has a magnetic personality.  I remember getting her phone number and hoping we would get together (since she had a daughter a little older than Anna, and Parker, who was 5 months old).  Dana and David had just moved to Waco, and our husbands worked at the same hospital.  We had just found our church home and stopped attending where they began to be involved, so we ended up just seeing each other at hospital functions and Medical Alliance functions.  She became friends with Wren, who was soon diagnosed with cancer, and rallied around her with encouragement and faith and support.  Then, not too long after that, David was acting strange, and when they did an MRI, a huge tumor was revealed.  Their friendship with Wren and Brian grew as both families were struggling and fighting cancer.  I was crushed for them.  But every time I prayed for him before the surgery, I got a sense that God was going to do something big and David would make it through fine.  I never e-mail my prayers to people, but for some reason, I felt led to type my prayer as I prayed it, sensing God was giving me the words to pray.  I felt so awkward since we were not close, but it just seemed like what I was supposed to do.  Dana ended up e-mailing my prayer to everyone as a guide for what to pray.  I was so embarrassed, but I knew then why God had led me to do that out of my comfort zone--because it was about what He wanted to accomplish and increasing other people's faith. Amazingly, God answered every part of that prayer--and I know that He was leading me to pray His will in that situation. We were all cheering them on, knowing that he was recovering so quickly and without side effects!!!
Fast forward to now--a couple of months ago, the cancer returned to David's brain.  They have enjoyed such a full life during this time of surgery and cancer treatments, but now the end seems to be coming so rapidly.  It's hard to grasp after God did such a work to remove the cancer so "effortlessly" the first time.  Now I'm praying more out of desperation.  Even that today they would have an amazing day together, because often now he is cognitively not himself.  Hard to imagine thinking of life in terms of days left with your husband.  We forget about that--to measure our life in days.

Why am I telling all of this background?  Dana and I are not close friends.  I barely know much about her or their lives, but our faith has drawn us together.  God has given me a depth of emotion for them that I cannot explain.  He obviously is thinking of them during their suffering, to place a prayer on my heart for them that He answered every point.  I cannot explain it to people who do not have a relationship with Christ, but I KNOW God hurts with those who are suffering, because of the heavy burden He puts on my heart.  My heart crushes under the weight.  This probably sounds ridiculous, and I do realize that we are all empathetic toward our friends when they are going through hard things, no matter who you are.  I'm not even imagining myself in her situation--that would even be harder; the feelings are just there, and it is "supernatural."
My heart has been BREAKING for her since the end of September, and I didn't even know how bad things had gotten.  God had just constantly been putting them on my heart and mind, and my heart felt like a weight was crushing it.  Once I read her posts, I understood why she had been on my mind so much.
I can-not i-mag-ine how hard this is to know that you are losing the daddy of your 5 and 3 year olds. (having my own).  David's faith in God has grown exponentially, but it is so hard to comprehend that his life is nearing its end.  Dana is young--I'm sad for her to have to let go of hopes and dreams (we did that with our move to Nashville).  It's hard to think you are losing the love of your life.  It's hard to see him suffer or to have his personality change at the end.  And then to even think of the grief that comes afterwards.  Not to mention all of the ups and downs of treatments and tests and waiting for test results.  And all of the amazing memories, but then all of the good-bye moments.  It seems too much.
But, I have been here before in a different way with Nic.  When Doug was taken from her, it was black, but she depended upon Jesus to get her through.  And when we lost our baby, it was the kind of pain that makes a momma wail, but I knew deep down this was God's story, and He would do something big with it, even if I never knew what that would be.  And now I know that Dana will do the same--put her faith in Jesus to get her through.
Tuesday was Dana's birthday.  She was a little uncertain about the day, because a week before, David had mentioned that he felt he only had about 2 weeks left (in a rare moment where he was himself).  Apparently, he had arranged with friends beforehand to give her a birthday present--a Bible engraved by him and with green ribbons to remind them of their journey together (green is the color of Team Hurst).  When you look at the verse she underlined, you will see where our worlds collide.  Even though the weight of grief will soon crush her, she knows that God will stand by her and strengthen her.  She's choosing to believe in that, and what a powerful message to all who have been following their story.
We don't know why our loved ones are taken too soon on this earth or why our babies aren't born, but God has given us a story.  I promise you.  If you choose to put your faith in Him in the darkness, His message will be proclaimed in the way that is unique to His story through you and for the people who surround you.  Take Nic who lost her husband in Iraq, Katie who lost her baby girl, Reese, Bailey who lost her husband Andrew to cancer, and Angie Smith who lost her little baby girl.  I pray that you will feel God's love by reading their stories.  And I pray that you will take that baby step of faith to trust God through your darkness.  He will meet you.  As Nic has on her blog, "Hope shines in the dark if you dare to believe."
Please say a prayer for Dana and David tonight.  Pray that they can have sweet, memorable times together each day--that their conversation would be rich and their home would be full of laughter.  Give Audrey and Parker lasting memories of their daddy in these last days.  http://hurstfamilyupdate.blogspot.com/

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