From my journal. . .
"My belly seems to be getting bigger than it did with the other pregnancy. I am exited about the appointment July 18, but I also know we might not know until 20 weeks if there are twins. Sometimes I actually get really sad about Grace with this pregnancy--even though they're completely different--and different maternity clothes with different seasons. Maybe it's because I've relived some of the same good feelings I did as with the pregnancy for her--shopping for clothes, etc. going to doctor's appointments--and it heightens my awareness that this all is not new to me (kind of like if you were engaged a second time). I don't know what it is. I'm so happy to be pregnant and so thankful God gave us this pregnancy so quickly, but sometimes my defense mechanisms don't let me get too excited just in case something has gone wrong. I chose to not see the doctor more often than normal, but when you are in the early stages of pregnancy, 4 weeks does seem a long time, especially since I don't really feel all that pregnant. I think after next Friday I will be much more excited, since it will be the end of the first trimester. Generally once you make it through the first trimester, you don't lose the baby (even though we were one of those rare cases with Grace). I don't want to lose faith."
No comments:
Post a Comment