Friday, August 29, 2008

December 23, 2007

From my journal. . .

"It's still hard for me to believe I lost a baby. I do know that God doesn't make mistakes, and I don't know why He chose me to be used in this way, whatever His greater purpose is. He does know best. I do remember everything vividly--[I had my first positive pregnancy test August 18]--we were going to really have a baby (if I didn't miscarry). Since I had never been pregnant before, I was always cautious to see how my body would react. After the 1st trimester I rested easier and got used to how every decision I made affected/related to the baby. Nov. 19 everything was normal and exciting. Scott's mom got to see the baby kicking. I really feel like it died last weekend. That was the last time I felt it move, and I just had a feeling something was wrong (not that I really believed it).

These things I know to be true:
1. God makes no mistakes and He knit this baby together in my womb (Ps. 139:1-24)
2. It's not all about me--God has a larger purpose beyond Scott and I"

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