From my journal. . .
"Lord, thank you that You are so near. I do feel as if I'm being held in the shelter of the Most High. He is so sweetly reassuring me--it's almost like I don't want this feeling to end (not that I want to go through more heartache). Lord, protect my heart and mind.
God is amazing, though, how He is so personal, speaking through His Word, in my heart, and through other people. One of the first mornings after the surgery that I was up and about, I went outside in the morning and the bells were ringing and it had just started snowing--and I knew everything was going to be okay."
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.' I Cor. 2:9"
During this period of time, there was a song that Josh Groban sings called Lullaby--for some reason this touched me deeply--I felt somehow supernaturally comforted--almost like God was speaking those words directly to me, and I also somehow felt like I was thinking them longingly for the baby I lost. I know it probably sounds weird, but the words "peace will come to you in time" comforted me as a promise from God that in time I would be okay, and that even though He is the God of the universe, He loves me tenderly as a father as I am going through this pain. The crazy thing is that as I was discovering this song and feeling that Father love from God, two different people told me that God was my loving Father (confirming in my heart that He really wanted me to know that). Those people never knew the impact of those words as I felt Him reassuring me of that through this song and other Bible verses I was reading.
Lyrics to Lullaby sung by Josh Groban:(feat. Ladysmith Black Mambazo)
Hush now baby don't you cry Rest your wings my butterfly
Peace will come to you in time And I will sing this lullaby
Know though I must leave, my child But I would stay here by your side
And if you wake before I'm gone Remember this sweet lullaby
And all love through darkness Don't you ever stop believing
With love forlorn With love you'll find your way My love
The world has turned the day to dark I leave this night with heavy heart
When I return to dry your eyes I will send this lullaby Yes I will send this lullaby
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